It doesn’t end with your 20s – but you can hope to get better at cleaning up and moving on. “If we are able to look at it that way, it can be really useful.” Another word for a “total mess”, then, might be “life”. “Every stage of life, every aspect is a learning experience,” says Moyle. “I encourage people I’m working with to look at the different stages in their lives, what was going on for them then, why things might have been a bit ‘messy’ and try and put it all in context.” And every period of turbulence we emerge from builds resilience, equipping us to better cope in future. At a later date, when the “messy” period is behind us and we are feeling more secure in ourselves and our situation, it may be possible to see it in a new light.“ Life has different stages – just because it’s messy at one point in time doesn’t mean it will be always,” says Moyle. Written-By Ellie Goulding, Fin Dow-Smith.
Producer, Programmed By, Acoustic Guitar, Bass, Electric Guitar, Backing Vocals Starsmith. It is enough to focus on “just getting through” a difficult time, she adds. Ellie Goulding - Starry Eyed (Official Music Video) 3:04. No one can see what the future holds, “especially at the moment”, says Moyle, pointing to global instability in politics, housing and health. When we put ourselves under more pressure, we are more likely to struggle.” If we are able to just say we’ll take it as it comes – ‘It may not turn out how I think it will but I just need to go easy on myself and focus on one day at a time’ – that is really helpful. Kate Moyle, who is registered with the College of Sexual and Relationship Therapists, says accepting that life will have its ups and downs that we can’t predict or prepare for is key to being able to adapt to them. The expectation of there being a “before” and “after” can make it harder to respond to the reality. It is easy, especially when we’re young, to dream of a future when life will be easy and uncomplicated, but we find that is rarely the case.